Love conquers all

He’s one of Aotearoa’s biggest music stars and she’s working hard to make a difference in our community. Together Rachel Axis Taane Tinorau and Tiki Taane are one of the Bay’s most recognisable couples. Here they talk about their unusual love story, overcoming addiction and ghosts.

Words Karl Puschmann | Photos Graeme Murray + Supplied
Styling Nicky Adams | Hair Sam Henry | Make up Desiree Osterman

Moving up to the Bay from Christchurch had been a dream come true for Rachel. But the dream turned into a living nightmare when a ghost showed up. “I had a rough time when I first moved here. There was a weird energy and a spirit,” she tells UNO over a piping hot cup of cinnamon tea. “We nicknamed him Spirit Fingers.”

We’re sitting in the comfy lounge of the Pāpāmoa Beach home she shares with her husband, musician Tiki Taane. It may be a gloriously sunny afternoon but her haunting story and the spirit’s creepy nickname cause a shudder. 

It’s fair to say that Spirit Fingers put something of a spooky damper on the excitement the couple had been feeling. They’d spent two years making their long-distance relationship work. Rachel’s move up in 2015 marked the beginning of not just their life together but, as they each had a child, also the beginning of their life as a blended family. The couple couldn’t have been happier. 

Until…“I’d wake up with someone standing next to the bed or at the bedroom door,” Rachel continues. “When Tiki was away, walking down the hallway would freak me out. It was creepy. I could feel there was always someone there. It was full-on.”

Tiki, who has planted himself in a huge, comfy beanbag, nods and says, “Where we are there’s a lot of spiritual energy. And a lot of spiritual history as well.”

He explains that the area was used as battlegrounds and that there are urupā (burial sites) underneath the nearby boardwalks that stretch along the beachfront. “That’s why it’s up high,” Tiki explains. “There’s a lot of bones in that area.”

There was something strange in their neighbourhood, but both being spiritual people, they weren’t about to call Ghostbusters. Instead, they wanted to show respect and understanding. They had a karakia (a traditional Māori prayer to invoke spiritual goodwill) written, which they then recited in their home. “It was basically to say to them, ‘You're welcome to be here’,” Rachel says. She laughs, then adds, “But just please don’t interfere with my sleep.”

Looking back now, she thinks it was curiosity, rather than a terrifying Hollywood-style haunting, that was the spirit’s motive.

“Tiki’s been settled here for a while so they were probably like, ‘Who’s this bitch?’” she grins. “They were just sussing me out. Since the karakia, it’s been sweet. There’s definitely still an energy, but not a bad one.”

“This whole area of Pāpāmoa has an energy that I really enjoy,” Tiki says. “I love it here.”

His connection to the area runs deep. He moved here back in 2010 but first visited in 1996, when his former band, the award-winning group Salmonella Dub, played in the Mount. 

“The first time I came it blew me away. Then I just loved coming back here,” he says. “It’s always been good vibes.”

When Tiki first laid eyes on Rachel, she wasn’t even there. He was in Auckland getting a tattoo when he saw a photo of his tattooist and her friend. “I was like, ‘Who’s that hottie?’ and she was like, “Oh, my God! I’ll hook you up!’” he laughs. 

Rachel of course knew of Tiki, but even with their mutual friend putting in the good word, she wasn’t prepared to rush a meeting with a stranger.

“Rachel was like, ‘This is a red flag’,” Tiki laughs. “She didn't give me her number. She gave me her email. So I started emailing. Then emails led to texting and texting led to phone calls. We'd call each other every night.”

In that regard, it was quite an old-fashioned courtship, with Tiki really trying to impress her. “Yeah. Hard,” he grins.

When Tiki appeared somewhat out of the blue, Rachel was concentrating on being a solo mum to her toddler and not at all about relationships. “I hadn't had very good experiences with men, so I had my boundaries up,” Rachel says. “I was quite weary. But Tiki was really respectful. He wasn't creepy. So when I had trust through the emails, I was like, ‘Okay, here's my number’.”

While the pair hadn’t committed to each other, they were becoming bigger parts of each other’s lives. But they hadn’t yet met and were still, in the words of Rachel, “doing our own thing.”

About six months on from their virtual meeting Rachel entered a radio competition to win a trip to Rarotonga. It was a typical shock-jock style of radio competition, which saw five married men going to the island with five single women and their friends.

“It’s so wrong and looking back now I’d be so anti it,” Rachel admits. “But I entered as one of the single chicks and won. I told Tiki and it turned out the dates I was there he was actually going to be there as well.”

In what can only be described as serendipity – a word Tiki would also use when he wrote a love song to Rachel before proposing on camera during the making of its music video – he was going to be there with the drum ’n’ bass group Shapeshifter.

The pair arranged to meet the night she arrived and he zipped over to her hotel on a scooter. After their six-month courtship, the couple finally met, and embraced, for the first time.

“Then she got on the back of my scooter and that was it,” Tiki beams.

“I pretty much spent the whole time with Tiki,” Rachel smiles. “It was a great first date.”

After the fairytale romance in Rarotonga, the real world hit hard when they returned home. Rachel’s friends were worried she’d get too attached and her mum was concerned her old habits might return.

“My mum was absolutely horrified. I'd been through such an intense time with addiction that she was really scared about the rock-and-roll, party lifestyle. Tiki was not like that at all. But there was an assumption, a stereotype, that the music industry
is all about getting slaughtered and taking drugs all the time. It may be in some groups, but not ours.”

Having finally met Rachel, Tiki wasn’t about to let her go. He already knew she was the one. He emailed her tickets to fly to Auckland that weekend so they could go to a dance party. 

“You told me that you loved me and I was like, ‘Ooof. This is a red flag’, because it had only been a week of physically knowing each other. But you asked me that weekend to be your partner. I was like, ‘Yeah!’ and here we are!”

“We both had the same mindset and just really connected, big time,” Tiki says. “We were talking for months and months and months before we actually met in person. So we built our connection that way.”

“Yeah, we had the same values and passions, like advocacy. We both had a kid, they’re only two years apart,” Rachel adds, referring to her daughter Karcia (12) and Tiki’s son Charlie (14). “And a similar life story in a way. Both of us have been through addiction and both came out the other side of that. We're both of a similar vibe.”

Because Rachel’s mentioned it a couple of times, I ask about her addiction. 

“I was a meth addict for four or five years, from age 14 to 19,” she replies. “I'd done my work well prior to Tiki coming along. I went to rehab when I was 19.”

Rachel escaped into addiction due to trauma. Her parents separated when she was two years old and Rachel's relationship with her father has had its challenges ever since. She moved schools a lot due to bullying and at just 14 years old she was sexually assaulted in a park after a party. The culmination of all this trauma at such a young age led her to meth. 

“I still struggle with PTSD,” she says. “I hate the word addiction. I look at it more as escapism. When people use a lot that's usually because they're trying to numb or hide from something that's either happened or that's going on. But me and Tiki have a really good relationship where if there’s something going on, we both talk about it. We don't need to get wasted to numb anything.”

Those dark days are well and truly behind her. Having turned her own life around, she’s now determined to help others do the same. She does public speaking at events where she shares her journey through trauma, addiction and recovery and is also a qualified social worker who previously worked at Women’s Refuge and now goes into the Bay’s secondary schools to deliver consent education and healthy relationship education.

“As someone who has had sexual trauma, I wish that I’d had this education when I was younger,” she says.

Depending on the situations she encounters and the people she helps, it can sometimes be hard for her to switch off at the end of the day. But she knows Tiki is always ready to support her.

“I listen and I wait till she’s got it all off her mind,” he says. “It’s been a huge education for me as well and made me really become more talkative about sexual harm in the music industry. When you start delving into the subject, this kaupapa, you've got to look at yourself, what you've done and start questioning the behaviours that you've done in the past. Some of it might not be nice. I can't sit here and go ‘this, this, this and this’, I have to look at what I've done and think about that and go, ‘How come that happened?’ or ‘Why does this happen?’. It's a really vulnerable opening you've got to do, and I think a lot of people are scared to do that. For me, I've learned loads from Rachel. Untold amounts of stuff.”

Tiki, in turn, has also been sharing his knowledge with Rachel. Over lockdown, he taught her how to DJ and now she often plays support slots for him at his shows. Because he’s away playing his own shows so much he doesn’t often get to interact with the local music scene here that much. 

“This is my home. This is where I live. When I think of doing gigs and stuff, I think outwards. I don't think about playing locally. It’s quite interesting. I don't know why that is.”

As well as touring, Tiki produces artists and bands in his purpose-built home studio and recently released his first feature film, the award-winning concert-documentary Tiki Taane in Session with CSO, which he produced, directed and performed himself. Following rave reviews at the New Zealand International Film Festival, it has since been accepted into numerous festivals around the world and continues to clock up awards.

“It's doing really awesome. It's been a wicked buzz,” Tiki says of the project which took him three years to complete. “I'm so stoked that I rolled the dice on it.”

Spend some time with Rachel and Tiki and it’s easy to see why they work so well together. They’ve both overcome demons and found each other, and then overcame their initial physical distance to connect in a deeper, spiritual way. Their personalities complement each other with Rachel outgoing and Tiki more laid back. And with Spirit Fingers no longer haunting the hallways, their home has a chill vibe and a welcoming atmosphere. 

“We definitely made the deal, the commitment,” Tiki says of their relationship. “I knew from the beginning that I’m in this for the long run.”

Then, smiling warmly, he says, “It's been incredible.” 

Tiki Taane in Session with CSO is available to rent
at Tiki’s website tikidub.com