The Don
“As a barber you become an instant counselor. I’ve been doing this for twelve years now and I know how to get people to talk. The barbershop encourages conversation. It actually helps a lot of guys to relax.”
WORDS TALIA WALDEGRAVE PHOTOS JORDAN VICKERS
“I lost seven friends in four years. That’s not okay.” Fighting the war on suicide, Sam Dowdall is embarking on a quest to raise awareness for mental health, specifically for men.
Snipping locks in homes from Matua to Matapihi, Sam Don Barber has become somewhat of a local icon. He is smart, eloquent, and incredibly personable and as far as cool hairdressers go, none of them quite compare to his dapper effervescence. Dropping cheeky innuendos throughout our chat, he tells me about his upcoming pilgrimage from north to south, trading haircuts for goods and services.
“I got over waiting for the weekly paycheck and doing everything for myself, so I made a decision to help others. I love the feeling I get from it, I get a heart on, or an affection erection.”
SHAKING OFF THE STIGMA
“People hear the mention of mental health and instantly think of a straight jacket, but it’s time to break down those perceptions. There is a bad attitude amongst younger men, especially when you hit the provinces, so I’ll be focusing on rural, coastal and lower socio economic areas.”
“The problem comes from a mix between mental health and emotional illiteracy; what you might be suffering from, teamed with being too scared to talk about it. That’s what this is journey is all about. Encouraging people, especially men, to speak up and communicate. It’s about knowing how to put your hand up and ask for help.”
His plight is one I encourage. Most New Zealanders are affected in some way by mental health or suicide, yet the taboo surrounding it leaves us sitting in an eerie and ignorant silence.
“As a barber you become an instant counselor. I’ve been doing this for twelve years now and I know how to get people to talk. Often when someone is dealing with an issue, it tends to stem from fear and frustration, but the barbershop encourages conversation. It actually helps a lot of guys to relax.”
“Touching another man’s face is something many men are not accustomed to, but it’s extraordinary to watch what happens. First there’s a long silence, but it only takes a moment before they open up and share something really personal.”
It’s this fire in the belly teamed with an empathetic understanding that will aid Sam on his top to toe sojourn. It helps too that he has the gift of the gab.
ONE HECK OF A ROAD TRIP
According to Sam’s calculations, his trip will take precisely 680 days.
“I’m building the caravan at the moment, one piece at a time. I take donations for haircuts and then I use that money to pay for materials. If I get 20 dollars for a cut, I can use that to buy a piece of plywood construction.”
“This isn’t about making money. All I need is just get enough to feed me and the dog and anything we don’t use will be sent to my major partner TradeMe. 100 percent of the profit made will go straight to Lifeline and anything we don’t eat to the local Food Bank or SPCA.”
The main focus will be on small New Zealand towns and in particular, volunteer firefighters; the first port of call when crisis arises.
“Some of these guys see up to seven or eight suicides a year. That’s a big chunk of their community. I want to work with them to teach others how to manage a crisis.”
Sam will also train local hairdressers and barbers at no cost, on the proviso they’re on board with the project.
“I really want it to hit home just how important it is to give back to the community.”
“I’ve wanted to do this for a while and tried a few years back, but I didn’t have the right planning behind me. Yes, there’s a lot of admin involved, but I love it and I actually find it very, very easy! I think the most intense part for me will be the traveling and constant time on the road.”
EMBRACE VULNERABILITY
“If you’re ever worried about someone, the best way forward is doing something together. Get out, go fishing, surfing or hunting but make sure you stop and ask, ‘Hey mate, are you alright?”
“It’s so small, so incredibly minute, but that there, that one question can make all the difference, and there’s something really special when two blokes are cut from the same tree and share that level of vulnerability.”
Teetering on the brink of suicide is an incredibly dark place to be, and it’s often difficult to imagine the possibility of a future.
“I’ve helped people in this situation and I want to educate others on how to do the same. It’s about sitting down and saying, ‘Let’s have a listen to what got you here. What’s going on? What steps can we take to make sure you’re safe for now? Let’s make a plan. I can’t fix you, but I can make you safe for now.”