Ripples of change
The Women’s Fund is a group creating a community dedicated to empowering other women and whānau in the Western Bay of Plenty. Co-founder Hayley Nelson talks to UNO about how it came to be, and how being empowered as a child by the strongest woman she knew led her to where she is today.
WORDS Hayley Barnett
PHOTOS Giselle Brosnahan + Salina Galvan
Clockwise from top left: Hayley Nelson, Avah Smith, Christie McGregor, Anne Pankhurst and Keryn Jarvis.
On the eve of Mother’s Day earlier this year, Hayley Nelson stepped up to the podium to speak at the Western Bay of Plenty Women’s Fund breakfast held in Tauranga. She stunned everyone with her own mother’s tragic story in which she battled mental illness, before succumbing to it by taking her own life.
Hayley became her mother’s primary caregiver at the age of 13, after a car accident left her injured – something Hayley understood as a cry for help. She learned to take care of not just her ill and injured mother, who suffered from bipolar affective disorder and post-natal depression, but also her three brothers and their home, all while attending high school.
Somehow, amidst the chaos of her life, Hayley managed to travel the world at just 16 years old, before returning to study and work for a number of major banks in client-facing and leadership roles. Tragically, her mother committed suicide when Hayley was 24 years old. But despite this, her own resilience, Hayley says, is down to being raised by this “superhero mum” who did all she could with the limited resources she had to hand, while struggling to maintain her mental health.
Today Hayley is the general manager of Craigs Investment Partners in Tauranga, and the co-founder of the WBOP Women’s Fund, made up of influential local women looking to give back to their community by helping other women in need.
“When I think about why I wanted to give back, I reflect on that 13-year-old,” says Hayley. “I wondered how we could look after those children in similar situations, with mothers suffering from something they know nothing about. I think of my brothers, of the trauma they’ve been through, and I feel for the seven-year-old, or that 10-year-old, or that 19-year-old who later lost his mum and didn’t even understand her illness. Kids any age can be really confused by people’s actions.”
It’s a situation that far too many families face, but today the amount of resources and information available is far greater than it was when Hayley was growing up. Her aim is to tap into that and become a connector between charities and those who want to help.
Together with her long-time friend Keryn Jarvis, she started building the Women’s Network as a way to access philanthropic groups and businesses, to raise funds and then give those funds to charities that help women, girls and whānau in need.
“In the beginning, a Giving Circle felt like a good way of achieving that,” explains Hayley. “But then we thought, actually, let’s go bigger. There’s lots of different people doing amazing work and we know that it’s hard to raise funds at the moment. So we thought, hey, let’s utilise our work, our contacts, and boost other organisations in the process. That’s really what it’s about – just helping people to help others.”
Hayley was inspired by the likes of the late Chloe Wright, who built the Bethlehem Birthing Centre and Kids Start. “Something I remember hearing from her was around the importance of maternal wellbeing in mothers,” says Hayley. “She knew something needed to be done and she was trying to do all she could to help in that space. It’s like all these things have been pointing me towards this path, saying, this is something you need to do to give back in some way, whether it’s financial or inspirational.”
It turns out it was both. Hayley and Keryn began talking with the Acorn Foundation, who at the time was represented by Emily Golding. Frances Mole has since taken her position.
“And then I thought, right, anything that happens in this town Anne Pankhurst knows about or wants to be involved in. So I reached out to the Tauranga Business Chamber, who Anne was with at the time.
“Then Anne was keen to have a lawyer on board,” Hayley continues. “Both of us knew Christie McGregor from Copeland Ashcroft Workplace Lawyers quite well and we knew she was involved with the Tautoko Mai Sexual Harm Support, which focuses on sexual assault awareness. And I wanted to get a youth voice in there as well, which is really important. So I reached out to Priority One, and Avah Smith put her hand up. She was one of the young female leaders in their INSTEP programme. She’s been a delight. It’s such a good group.”
Together the group helps to organise fundraisers through their member’s businesses, as well as getting the word out through their respective contacts and organising their own events throughout the year. Next Mother’s Day, the WBOP Women’s Fund will announce the charities their members have nominated, voted for and donated to. “But we don’t want to become an events company,” cautions Hayley. “Our focus is on connection.”
So how did she come to be such a master connector herself, I ask. “I think my background has something to do with it,” she says. “Changing schools and moving towns, I had to learn to meet people. Now I’m not afraid to talk to anybody, or introduce people because if you don’t, you don’t get to meet anybody and you end up sitting in the corner on your own.”
It seems to be Hayley’s tenacity and resilience which has led her down this path – something she knows she’s lucky to have. But she also knows it takes more than resilience to get through tough times. It also takes support from others. “I remember in the 1980s my grandmother took me to the Schizophrenia Fellowship – it was the only place to get information on mental health and wellbeing – so that I could understand a little bit around what was happening with my mum. That was all that Nana knew she could do. But it was a really helpful thing for me. I became more curious, more compassionate and understanding.”
That’s what Hayley hopes to do for these charities through the Women’s Fund – reach out and do the best she can.