Seize the day

Are we so obsessed with plans, goals and looking forward to fun things that we forget the here and now? Fresh Coaching’s Anna Veale explains the shady side to living only for the future.

Photos | Salina Galvan

Idon’t know about you, but from October 1 I feel a shift in energy. Not just on my own, but on other people around me. Shops subtly put their Christmas products at our eyeline, the fake Christmas trees have been brought out of the attic and strategically placed in the corner of waiting rooms, memes of "11 Saturdays ‘til Christmas" start floating around social media and all of us have that one friend who has been counting down the days since last Christmas! 

These signs prove to me that more than ever we are more focused on our future than where we are in the here and now. The danger of living this way is that before we know it, our life has passed us by and the future we spend months craving, is now so far in our rear-view mirror we can’t remember what it was we wanted in the first place. 

While it’s great to plan our futures, have goals and dreams, it’s important to remember that right now is all we have got. It’s what we do right here, right now that is going to secure our future. (Did anyone else just start silently singing to Fatboy Slim, or was it just me?) When we truly understand this concept, then the pace of life can slow down. We can step back from the collective race towards "one day" and make choices that align with what matters most to us. 

So how do we step off the treadmill which is increasing speed without nosediving into a third bowl of pavlova on Christmas Day and feeling utterly burned out?

TURN THE LIGHT ON

The first place to start is with awareness. Most of us find ourselves at a party we didn’t want to go to, over committing to people only to let them down at the last minute or wasting precious energy worrying about being in fifty places at once. From today onwards, turn the light on inside your mind and see what your automatic responses are to:

Requests that are made of you
Do you say yes without hesitation without considering the consequences? The time you spend on one thing is taking precious time away from other areas of your life that might matter more. Choose how and when you spend your time wisely.  

Getting drawn into society's pace
Sometimes it’s not you, it’s others. Have enough awareness to know whose energy you’re picking up on. If everyone else around you is racing around trying to "get it all done" before the end of the year, have the courage to question if the stressful (endless) to-do list needs to be completed or are the expectations too high? Or that friend that you haven’t seen for most of the year and has invited you for a catch up before 2023 rolls around; perhaps you can put them off until January? 

Stress
We all handle stress differently, but getting overwhelmed, having a short fuse, being distracted, and disengaging from things that would usually give you joy are all signs that you might be doing too much. Understanding your response to stress will give you the power to dial down on the basics – moving your body, eating food that fuels you and getting a decent night’s sleep. If you know you have some late, boozy nights coming up, counteract the possible negative consequences by having some healthy food choices and room for a walk the next day.

We know that the pace of life isn’t going to slow down so it's counterproductive to stress about how much you have to do. Choose today to take ownership of your busyness and make your mindset work for you. 

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Anna’s new book Only Human is available to order now: linktr.ee/freshcoachingnz

Mind matters

Do you need to spring clean your head space? Anna Veale explains how visualisation can be a helpful wellbeing tool.

PHOTOS Salina Galvan

As we find ourselves coming out of hibernation from what seems like a very long winter, a sense of new beginnings may be upon you – and for good reason. The mornings are getting lighter and the evenings are drawing out, bringing a new cycle which represents planting new seeds, growth and expansion. 

Spring, “the king of all seasons”, is a fantastic time to check in with yourself and see what sneaky habits have crept in over winter that don’t have your best interests at heart. Perhaps you’ve been hitting the snooze button one too many times, or drinking one too many cups of coffee to warm yourself up.

If you want to build on the energy that can come from our change in seasons, here are some tools to accelerate your journey. 

The power of visualisation

In the sports world, visualisation or “mental rehearsal” is used to help athletes prepare for and enhance their physical game. This technique draws
in direct focus to task, using the senses to dial down on the process of the goal rather than the outcome itself. 

As we move into the new season, we have an opportunity to get clear on what we want for the coming months, and we can use visualisation to bring a goal to life and generate the all-important ingredient for success: Action. 

When we mentally rehearse our goals and the process of reaching them, we are sending a strong message to our unconscious mind that we are ready and will be more likely to take the action required to make change. Science tells us that if we commit our goals to writing we are 40 percent more likely to achieve them. It also tells us that if we tell someone else about our goals we are 60 percent more likely to achieve them and if we have a coach, we are 95 percent more likely to achieve success. 

Your goal-setting toolbox

Adding visualisation to your goal-setting toolbox will help bring your dreams to life. If you are new to visualisation, here are some ideas to get you started:

Create a vision board

This can be fun and simple to do and serves as a daily reminder of your intentions. Use magazines and printouts to create your very own piece of goal-setting art. Be brave and think big. You are only limited by your imagination, so banish limited thinking and get creative. 

Visualisation meditations

There are plenty of good visualisation meditations out there for guided goal-setting visualisation, leaving time at the end to brain dump, set goals and put timelines on them. So now we have our head space covered, how can we give our body a shake-up out of its winter slump and get it bouncing into spring?

Rehydrate

Often water gets replaced for hot drinks over winter, so look to replace caffeinated drinks with water or herbal tea. 

Eat well 

Nourish your body with whole foods like split peas, lentils, chickpeas, quinoa, buckwheat and rye. Increase the fibre in your diet with fruits and vegetables such as apples, pears, apricots, berries, broccoli, carrots, okra and spinach.

Catch the morning sun

Reset your circadian rhythm by getting up at the same time each day, taking yourself out for a walk around the block and getting some fresh air. 

Be consistent 

Showing up daily for yourself sends the message that your wants and needs are important. Cultivate a routine that's easy, fun and aligns with your values. 

Check out Anna's free resources page, where you will find your very own “spring reset”

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Bouncing back

We all deal with life’s curveballs in different ways, but surrendering to pain rather than enduring it will get you through even the toughest of times, says Fresh Coaching’s Anna Veale. 

Photo Salina Galvan

I recently returned from a long overdue trip back 'home' to the UK to visit my family and friends post Covid. One of the first things I noticed when I caught up with my friends is how tough the impact of Covid has been on mental wellbeing. 

Whilst we all deal with stress differently, resilience is a skill that prepares people against the inevitable suffering that life throws at us. 

One thing’s for sure, building resilience helps people adapt better to life’s curveballs, keeps self-esteem and confidence intact, allows people to handle setbacks without falling into a victim and blame mentality and promotes a growth mindset, looking at life with curiosity and compassion rather than fear and judgement. 

 Resilience isn't about 'sucking it up' or taking an 'it is what it is' attitude to the stressors of life, more a quality that empowers us to step back, take a bird’s eye view of a situation and compassionately process, accept and adapt to the challenges in front of us. 

Resilience asks us to accept difficulty with courage, to work with it, not against it. So how can we build resilience and prepare for adversity? 

Invite curiosity

By understanding your habitual thought patterns, you will become more equipped to step out of reactive behaviour when triggered by stress. You could start by asking yourself these questions: 

How do I currently react to triggering situations? 

What and who are my Achilles heels in terms of triggering a stress response?

How does my body respond to stress?

What tools do I already have to cope?

What habitual responses do I currently do which aren’t helpful? 

Having curiosity about how you react to situations will enable you to learn and grow rather than beat yourself up. 

Lean in

Suppressing emotions long term undermines our resilience so it’s important to get comfortable with noticing your emotions, recognising and labelling them. Do you push them down or do you go over and over the same scenario keeping you stuck in the same circumstance? Can you name the emotion you are feeling? What is the cause? How can you change the situation? 

Practice courage 

Knowing your values and living your life according to those values whilst challenging yourself daily to choose ‘hard over easy’ creates a compound effect when building resilience. 

Challenge yourself 

The body and mind are intrinsically linked so it is vital to check in daily with your body.

 Ideas on how to challenge yourself physically (check with a physician before commencing any new regime.)

Daily breath work or mindfulness practice

Cold showers/cold water therapy 

Physical exercise that pushes you out of your comfort zone

Like anything worth learning, developing resilience will take consistency, commitment and vulnerability. Meeting yourself where you are at and boldly working through challenges with an open mind will create an inner strength you didn’t know you had. 

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Men at work

Understanding the link between mental and physical health can be life changing.

Words Nicky Adams / Photos Salina Galvan

While there’s an increased understanding around male mental health, it’s still daunting for many men to admit they may be struggling, or to be introspective enough to untangle the knots they may have found themselves in.  Anna Veale from Fresh Coaching feels passionate about men’s mental health “because it’s not being talked about enough.”

With a background in sports therapy, massage and performance coaching, Anna is able to look at the complete mental and physical wellness of her clients. Part of her skill set is her training as an Ayurveda coach. One of the world’s oldest alternative medical systems with roots in ancient India, it’s described as a knowledge of life, as it looks at the body and mind as one. 

“In the Western world we tend to think that the body and mind are separate. Ayurveda takes the whole body into consideration. Your physical, psychological and spiritual self – it looks at sleep, nutrition and natural rhythms. Over the last two years of specialising in coaching men, I’ve honed in on amalgamating what makes an awesome human being, and what makes men thrive. And that’s getting both body and mind on the same page so that the client can reach his true potential.”

If you want to improve physical fitness, you would seek out a personal trainer, says Anna. To improve your mental health, it is just as important to train with a professional. “Coaching is for the person who recognises a negative pattern. For example, they press snooze every morning, grab a pie on the way to work and then go through the motions in their job. This person tends not to be present with their family, then goes to bed feeling unfulfilled. He’s living an average life. Coaching takes you from saying you want a connected relationship with your wife, saying you want to be the CEO of your business, to taking action to make it happen. It helps you find the missing link and get in touch with what’s important.”

Ultimately what Anna finds in her clients is that if they can’t see the best in themselves, they can’t then get the best from themselves. Underlying stress can tip the balance of both mental and physical wellbeing. “This can be on any spectrum, but stress management is key to overall wellness. You can’t thrive if you’re under the pump and stressed all the time.” This is where Anna and Fresh Coaching come into play. Anna has recently developed the four step Spartan Habit Changer Online Coaching Program, which has been ‘designed specifically for busy men who need to be reminded to dial down and look after themselves in order to perform at their best.’ An all-encompassing kick-starter course, this five-week remote commitment could be a gamechanger. Anna also offers 1:1 coaching for men who are stuck and ready to make positive change.

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