Bouncing back
We all deal with life’s curveballs in different ways, but surrendering to pain rather than enduring it will get you through even the toughest of times, says Fresh Coaching’s Anna Veale.
Photo Salina Galvan
I recently returned from a long overdue trip back 'home' to the UK to visit my family and friends post Covid. One of the first things I noticed when I caught up with my friends is how tough the impact of Covid has been on mental wellbeing.
Whilst we all deal with stress differently, resilience is a skill that prepares people against the inevitable suffering that life throws at us.
One thing’s for sure, building resilience helps people adapt better to life’s curveballs, keeps self-esteem and confidence intact, allows people to handle setbacks without falling into a victim and blame mentality and promotes a growth mindset, looking at life with curiosity and compassion rather than fear and judgement.
Resilience isn't about 'sucking it up' or taking an 'it is what it is' attitude to the stressors of life, more a quality that empowers us to step back, take a bird’s eye view of a situation and compassionately process, accept and adapt to the challenges in front of us.
Resilience asks us to accept difficulty with courage, to work with it, not against it. So how can we build resilience and prepare for adversity?
Invite curiosity
By understanding your habitual thought patterns, you will become more equipped to step out of reactive behaviour when triggered by stress. You could start by asking yourself these questions:
How do I currently react to triggering situations?
What and who are my Achilles heels in terms of triggering a stress response?
How does my body respond to stress?
What tools do I already have to cope?
What habitual responses do I currently do which aren’t helpful?
Having curiosity about how you react to situations will enable you to learn and grow rather than beat yourself up.
Lean in
Suppressing emotions long term undermines our resilience so it’s important to get comfortable with noticing your emotions, recognising and labelling them. Do you push them down or do you go over and over the same scenario keeping you stuck in the same circumstance? Can you name the emotion you are feeling? What is the cause? How can you change the situation?
Practice courage
Knowing your values and living your life according to those values whilst challenging yourself daily to choose ‘hard over easy’ creates a compound effect when building resilience.
Challenge yourself
The body and mind are intrinsically linked so it is vital to check in daily with your body.
Ideas on how to challenge yourself physically (check with a physician before commencing any new regime.)
Daily breath work or mindfulness practice
Cold showers/cold water therapy
Physical exercise that pushes you out of your comfort zone
Like anything worth learning, developing resilience will take consistency, commitment and vulnerability. Meeting yourself where you are at and boldly working through challenges with an open mind will create an inner strength you didn’t know you had.